As we approach 2008 and its accompanying new resolutions, we can apply some of our basic special education philosophical beliefs in our efforts to make this new year a better one.
The classic slogan at the beginning of the normalization movement was "Label jars, not people." Unfortunately, this adage is needed even in 2008, perhaps even more needed than ever before. Post 9.11 we have become more likely to group and label people. Now, probably more than ever, we need to see people as individuals. Aren't you sometimes struck by the idea that there are people who on paper seem to be just like you yet you can't connect, while others who seem to be quite different are those who you befriend? In reality, labeling people by religion, profession, socio-economic level, disability, or age/grade tells very little about the individual standing in front of you.
So how do you see this individual? In special education, we focus on a child's strengths and then work from there. When someone has a disability, they are often defined by what they cannot do. In our work as special educators we start with what the person can do and try to build skills from that entry point. In life, however, we often start from a person's deficits - we see their flaws, neuroses and move from there. How much better to focus on the positive, on strengths and abilities? While some people wear their shortcomings on their sleeves, most remain hidden and we get to know their foibles only as we our relationship deepens. Then we abuse that trusting relationship by focusing on their weaknesses. This person is so negative; this one so complaining; this one so sharp. Eventually we lose sight of their strengths - perhaps their openess or their insightfulness - and begin to see only the negatives. Focusing on a person's strengths encourages us to see the positives and appreciate that part of them. If we can do that when we work with children who have disabilities, why not in our personal lives?
It's not just the professional thing to do, it's the way to bring out the best in us and others in our lives.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Behaviors in the Not So Christmas Spirit
Once, at the end of fall semester, as I was observing a student teacher in a local public school, the classroom teacher approached me, suggesting that if Bob (not his real name) acted out during the student teacher's lesson, I should let her know and she'd pull him out of class. The teacher explained that Bob had been acting out regularly and she didn't want his disruptive behavior to affect my student teacher. Even she, an experienced teacher of many years, was having difficulty getting him to calm down and focus.
What I knew walking into the room was that the school was in high gear for Christmas, with decorations, plays, concerts and parties. I also knew that Bob was a Jehovah Witness who did not celebrate birthdays. I surmised that his acting out behavior, which had escalated over the weeks in December, was related to the Christmas celebrations taking place.
About one minute into my student's lesson, Bob started poking the boy next to him. The boy tried to move out of Bob's striking distance, only to be poked again. While I usually sit back and observe quietly, this time I decided to intervene.
I tapped Bob on his shoulder and asked to talk to him. I told him that I noticed he was poking another student and that I wondered if he was upset by all the activities related to Christmas. He looked at me blankly. I asked if he celebrated Christmas and he said he did. I explained that I was Jewish and didn't celebrate Christmas. With a bit of bravado he reiterated that he celebrated this holiday and asked why I didn't. I explained that I was Jewish and didn't believe in Christ ,so I didn't celebrate his birthday. He sat quietly for a few seconds and then began a series of questions:
Did I celebrate Valentine's day? No, I didn't.
Did I celebrate St. Patrick's day? No, I didn't.
Did I celebrate Easter? No, I didn't.
Did I celebrate birthdays? Yes, I did.
He compared each of my answers to his own practices. Then he came back to the essential question, asking once again if I celebrated Christmas. And once again, I responded in the negative. He looked at me with big eyes andrsaid, "You've going to be in a lot of trouble!" and quietly and calmly rejoined the lesson.
He left me rather stunned as I thought, "You have no idea!" Sometimes behaviors just need to be investigated - you never know what will be revealed.
What I knew walking into the room was that the school was in high gear for Christmas, with decorations, plays, concerts and parties. I also knew that Bob was a Jehovah Witness who did not celebrate birthdays. I surmised that his acting out behavior, which had escalated over the weeks in December, was related to the Christmas celebrations taking place.
About one minute into my student's lesson, Bob started poking the boy next to him. The boy tried to move out of Bob's striking distance, only to be poked again. While I usually sit back and observe quietly, this time I decided to intervene.
I tapped Bob on his shoulder and asked to talk to him. I told him that I noticed he was poking another student and that I wondered if he was upset by all the activities related to Christmas. He looked at me blankly. I asked if he celebrated Christmas and he said he did. I explained that I was Jewish and didn't celebrate Christmas. With a bit of bravado he reiterated that he celebrated this holiday and asked why I didn't. I explained that I was Jewish and didn't believe in Christ ,so I didn't celebrate his birthday. He sat quietly for a few seconds and then began a series of questions:
Did I celebrate Valentine's day? No, I didn't.
Did I celebrate St. Patrick's day? No, I didn't.
Did I celebrate Easter? No, I didn't.
Did I celebrate birthdays? Yes, I did.
He compared each of my answers to his own practices. Then he came back to the essential question, asking once again if I celebrated Christmas. And once again, I responded in the negative. He looked at me with big eyes andrsaid, "You've going to be in a lot of trouble!" and quietly and calmly rejoined the lesson.
He left me rather stunned as I thought, "You have no idea!" Sometimes behaviors just need to be investigated - you never know what will be revealed.
Random Acts of Kindness that Change Your Life
Life has a way of winding down the road with sharp turns and forks, smooth new pavement and bumps of well worn trails. It is often the seemingly random acts and comments of others that play through our head that make us take the turn we didn't anticipate we'd ever make.
Such was the serious conversation with the father of my best friend from elementary school - except that this comment took place while I was in college and had pretty much lost contact with my friend. He was a principal of a school, although I don't think I ever knew which one, I just knew he was a highly intelligent and caring man whose house I had wandered in and out of throughout my younger years. He asked about what I was planning after graduation, and I told him that I always wanted to be an elementary school teacher, but that since I was single and NY required a master's degree within five years of graduation, I was considering going directly on for the degree. I guess we spoke for a while, but all I remember is that he suggested I look into special education and told me that the government was giving money for graduate students to enter this new field.
So I did what any good college student does on the trail of money to pursue a higher degree - research. Of course, it was the days of having to do research in a library with real books, but I'd come to love sitting at those tables surrounded by volumes of books I had yet to read. And special education was something I'd never really heard of despite all my education classes. Well, sure enough he was right - federal grants to cover tuition and provide a stipend as well. I began the application process. I learned about the newest area of special education, labeled emotional disturbance. Once awakened to this field I saw evidence around me of how helpful this field might prove.
I made a fork in the road. thinking it was a just a circle that would lead me back to the same road - I would become an elementary school teacher, now armed with new information that would help me be a better teacher, more appreciative of the myriad of issues that prevented some children from learning. But I fell in love with the field, with the dedicated special educators and classroom teachers working hard to include students with special needs, with the parents I met who advocated long and hard for their children's best interests, and with the future special educators I helped prepare. Once traveling down this new road I discovered it was taking me new places and was not just a circle leading back to my original destination of the elementary classroom.
Until the day I was visiting a school and was introduced to a young man I didn't recognize. But he knew who I was - I was the one, he said, responsible for his being in the classroom, having responded thoughtfully to his email in which he sought information about how to proceed professionally. Perhaps it was a circle after all!
Such was the serious conversation with the father of my best friend from elementary school - except that this comment took place while I was in college and had pretty much lost contact with my friend. He was a principal of a school, although I don't think I ever knew which one, I just knew he was a highly intelligent and caring man whose house I had wandered in and out of throughout my younger years. He asked about what I was planning after graduation, and I told him that I always wanted to be an elementary school teacher, but that since I was single and NY required a master's degree within five years of graduation, I was considering going directly on for the degree. I guess we spoke for a while, but all I remember is that he suggested I look into special education and told me that the government was giving money for graduate students to enter this new field.
So I did what any good college student does on the trail of money to pursue a higher degree - research. Of course, it was the days of having to do research in a library with real books, but I'd come to love sitting at those tables surrounded by volumes of books I had yet to read. And special education was something I'd never really heard of despite all my education classes. Well, sure enough he was right - federal grants to cover tuition and provide a stipend as well. I began the application process. I learned about the newest area of special education, labeled emotional disturbance. Once awakened to this field I saw evidence around me of how helpful this field might prove.
I made a fork in the road. thinking it was a just a circle that would lead me back to the same road - I would become an elementary school teacher, now armed with new information that would help me be a better teacher, more appreciative of the myriad of issues that prevented some children from learning. But I fell in love with the field, with the dedicated special educators and classroom teachers working hard to include students with special needs, with the parents I met who advocated long and hard for their children's best interests, and with the future special educators I helped prepare. Once traveling down this new road I discovered it was taking me new places and was not just a circle leading back to my original destination of the elementary classroom.
Until the day I was visiting a school and was introduced to a young man I didn't recognize. But he knew who I was - I was the one, he said, responsible for his being in the classroom, having responded thoughtfully to his email in which he sought information about how to proceed professionally. Perhaps it was a circle after all!
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