As we approach 2008 and its accompanying new resolutions, we can apply some of our basic special education philosophical beliefs in our efforts to make this new year a better one.
The classic slogan at the beginning of the normalization movement was "Label jars, not people." Unfortunately, this adage is needed even in 2008, perhaps even more needed than ever before. Post 9.11 we have become more likely to group and label people. Now, probably more than ever, we need to see people as individuals. Aren't you sometimes struck by the idea that there are people who on paper seem to be just like you yet you can't connect, while others who seem to be quite different are those who you befriend? In reality, labeling people by religion, profession, socio-economic level, disability, or age/grade tells very little about the individual standing in front of you.
So how do you see this individual? In special education, we focus on a child's strengths and then work from there. When someone has a disability, they are often defined by what they cannot do. In our work as special educators we start with what the person can do and try to build skills from that entry point. In life, however, we often start from a person's deficits - we see their flaws, neuroses and move from there. How much better to focus on the positive, on strengths and abilities? While some people wear their shortcomings on their sleeves, most remain hidden and we get to know their foibles only as we our relationship deepens. Then we abuse that trusting relationship by focusing on their weaknesses. This person is so negative; this one so complaining; this one so sharp. Eventually we lose sight of their strengths - perhaps their openess or their insightfulness - and begin to see only the negatives. Focusing on a person's strengths encourages us to see the positives and appreciate that part of them. If we can do that when we work with children who have disabilities, why not in our personal lives?
It's not just the professional thing to do, it's the way to bring out the best in us and others in our lives.
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2 comments:
That is a great thing to think about! If we did that more often I bet it would help to curb the tendency to speak Lashon Harah when talking about people...
That's called stereotyping, and stereotyping is good. It helps us manage information in our minds. We put people in folders and then into sub-folders. The problem arises when we label those folders - We generally start out with moderate labels and then, as our experience affects our value system we assign more specific labels and as a shortcut we then assign "knee jerk" feelings to those folders. This is called prejudice - which might be good or bad. (Rena - Lashon Harah is in the eyes of the listener)
If we personally move our position we then end up looking at our folders from a different angle - and suddenly where and what one eats or what one does on various days of the week becomes a value judgement. Going back to your first post - that child was just trying to put you in a folder and you wouldn't let him - so he created a new folder.
Labels are good - it's the labeler who often has problems.
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