Learning from Lior

Somehow we get caught up in the details of life and work we kind of lose track of the big picture. At work there are emails to respond to, calls to return, memos to write, meetings with students and colleagues. At home there are also emails and calls, laundry, shopping, and meal preparation. Time to relax? Time to remember why you work anyway? Time for yourself? Actually, time seems to disappear before my eyes, with the clock and the calendar moving faster than I ever thought possible!

And then once in a while, something comes along and you have an “ah, ha” moment when the big picture stares you in the face. Watching the movie “Praying with Lior” provides such a moment. This movie, ostensibly about a boy with Down syndrome preparing for his Bar Mitzvah, is so much more than that. True, the producer, Ilana Trachtman, has captured Lior and his family and friends and his Bar Mitzvah, but really, she has captured life with all its perplexing questions.

That the movie is a moving tribute to living with a child with Down syndrome is clear. Definitely a two handkerchief movie! But it is also a humorous one – laughter through the tears. More than that, it is a picture of a family, devastated by their mother’s early death from breast cancer, who move on with their lives, integrating their father’s remarriage and living with a son and sibling with special needs. It portrays Lior as a boy remembering his mother, loving his stepmother, and loving his Judaism expressed through his praying with fervor and belief. It portrays Modechai, Lior’s father, worrying about this Bar Mitzvah’s meaning, examining his dream, hopes, and expectations. It portrays Lior’s siblings, each with their own fears, realities, pride and love for their brother. It portrays Lynne, his stepmother, who gives space for the family’s memories of their mother while establishing her own role in nurturing and loving the family. It portrays a community that provides support and continuity.

As a special educator and teacher educator, I found the scenes of Lior at school and the interviews of his classmates mesmerizing. Here is an Orthodox school that includes Lior and provides not just a warm place where he thrives, but where his classmates are also his friends. From their words, we see how much they have gained because Lior has been a part of their school years. They respect his differences, care about him, and learn from him. Here’s an example of a school and students who really “get it.” Lior’s classmates have thought about the challenges he faces and it clarifies their own choices as they live their lives. Yes, this is what inclusion is about, providing important life lessons for everyone involved.

And this is what special education is really all about – we teach to enable each person to reach their potential, we learn from each other, and the process enables all of us to be better people. And this movie has captured it all – memories, continuation, spirituality, friendship, love, pride, and community. And this is why, through the tears and laughter, it provides an “ah ha” moment of utmost clarity.

If you haven’t yet seen the movie, find out where it’s playing at www.prayingwithlior.com and run, don’t walk, to see it!